so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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