Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Randomize
