so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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