Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
