I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
