have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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