She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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