Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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