i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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