Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
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All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
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He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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