id be glad to
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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