It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
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he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize