I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
