4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Randomize