if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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