On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
