he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
