I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
