You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
