I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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