Where did you get a picture of my penis
i think my mom watched the whole time
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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