How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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