Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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