youre lurking in front of me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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