and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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