you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
