i think my tv is drunk
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
foreskin is a definite game changer
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
