as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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