he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
