I love black thongs
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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