that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What should our trivia night team be named?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES