i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
