I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson