Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wanna bring you to show and tell
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
