I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize