about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
