Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
