Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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