Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
