We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
