The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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