I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
