a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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