..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize