I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
