they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
