problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
