last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
