oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
