I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
