Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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