its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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