i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
