He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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