I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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