Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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