Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
