we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
