I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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