You're earring is so big in my mouth
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
