I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
