Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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