I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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