If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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