I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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