dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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