were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
