Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
